During an office lunch, one of my male colleagues remarked,
"My wife’s cooking can’t match my mother’s. My mom is the best
cook."
I smiled and asked, “Does your father share the same opinion?”
It’s funny how almost every man and woman insist that their
mother is the best cook. There’s a belief that moms have a secret magic that
makes their food unbeatable.
Now that I’m a mother myself, let me correct that
assumption—there’s no magic. It’s simply conditioning.
The first food we eat is prepared by our mothers, not by a
chef or a neighbor. We grow up with those flavors, and they become our standard
of what good food should taste like.
I, too, believed that my mother made the best fish curry in
the world—until I got married. Excited to share this beloved dish with my
husband, I was shocked when he couldn’t eat it.
"The masalas taste raw. They aren’t properly cooked," he said.
Later, he introduced me to his mother’s fish curry. But to
me, it wasn’t fish curry—it was chili powder curry!
Before marriage, chapathi was my staple. Since I wasn’t
raised in Kerala, I never encountered traditional Kerala dishes. Years later,
when I moved there and stayed in a hostel, I was horrified to see puttu being
served with banana. Even worse, my hostel mates mashed them together before
eating! The sight was so unappetizing that I nearly threw up. But gradually, I
got accustomed to the sight and taste because hunger makes us adapt to any
preparation.
We Malayalis take immense pride in our fish curry, and for us, kudampuli (Garcinia cambogia) isn’t just an ingredient—it’s a tradition. A fish curry without it? Unimaginable! But does that mean other fish preparations are any less mouthwatering? Not at all! Just ask anyone who enjoys fish without kudampuli, and they’ll tell you—nothing beats the deliciousness of what’s served on their plate by their mom!
It’s not just about how we cook—it’s also about how we eat. I grew
up believing that you don’t just eat the flesh of the fish—you eat the bones
too! That’s why I avoid eating fish in public; for I have to “behave” well with
the fish served in my plate.
After marriage, I was surprised to see my husband handling
fish so delicately. I reminded him, "It won’t hurt you, it’s
dead."
Watching me eat, he laughed and asked, "Are you at
war with the fish?"
The point is, mothers shape their children’s eating habits.
They prepare what they know and love, and we grow up thinking it’s the best.
There’s no secret ingredient—just years of conditioning.
I’ve already warned my kids—never label me as the best cook. Because once you’re labelled the best cook, there’s no escape from the kitchen 😉
Nisha Kurian (O'Rodha)
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